2019 - My own's I Live Alone

If watching I Live Alone ever taught me anything, perhaps independence? And on top of that, self-empowerment. I’ve grown to become very inspired of the things done in the show.

Very much akin to peeking into the lives of the other singles, I’m always curious about how others are spending their lives given their own free time. Most often I don’t probe into my friends’ private lives, and with the only reference of my own siblings’ style of living, I basically have to come up with my own activities and form a habitual cycle. Which evolves from watching dramas and variety shows, lazing, watch the sun rise (not really haha) to sunsets, to waiting for my stomach to growl so that it’s time to eat.

But alas, the show has widened my vision to so many things out there for exploration. To try. To experience. And to grow.

One huge habit cultivated is none other than reducing the items in my room. De-cluttering was inspired from the occasional junk reduction (or to phrase it nicely, item donation) aired in many of the cast segments (except for Si Eon’s. The most dreadful claustrophobia I’d ever get). I’m learning not to hoard my stuff, and throw out things I don’t really need anymore. A long way to go, but having it started is always better than not.

Sung Hoon’s recent segment on his triathlon left a huge impression on me as well. I am always in sync with his laziness, the otaku who loves to game, slack, have his ass stuck to the sofa while munching off mangas in the manga café, and simply, lie around. Just when I am to conclude his public persona is different from his real self (so that I can give myself excuses to live like him too), an interview segment of his struck a chord deep inside me.

Sung Hoon: I’ve lived 30 plus years and I’ve thought I’ve been living fiercely. But after moving to this house for about a year, I became downright lazy and became a proper homebody. I just played games, I never went outside unless I need to…. After living for a year and a half, I realised I should, perhaps I should live fiercely once again.

His training starts, showing his roaring sportsman spirit. The segment ended with him saying “For this first one week, I need to feel the pain to gain strength. It’s my goal to finish it healthy. I’ll cover up my weak strength with mentality.”

This Sung Hoon story lit up a fire in me. I clenched my teeth and signed up for HIIT classes. I am not putting off the idea just to wait for anything or anyone anymore. I can do it myself. So yesterday’s class (called the floatfit hiit) was very intensive and a clear indication that nope, this is not for me (hahaha). But at least I now find it less embarrassing to attend classes myself. People can do it, why can’t I? I could just make new friends, isn’t it? Anyway, I also accidentally learnt about yesterday while bumping into a friend that, she is going for some exercising classes herself too. No more excuses, this shall be a growing up new resolution – It’s my life, it’s now or never. Exercise like Sung Hoon and make myself a healthy being!

Over these years I’ve grown reliant on doing things with friends, travelling around with friends, eating with friends, to the point I forgot to pick up skills on How to do it with myself. I neglected what I truly like deep down, I always casually cast aside my preferences and accommodate with the others, I always tell myself there’s a next time, so let’s not dwell on it. I realised I’ve missed out so much now that I look back. The next time never came, so my preferences never got materialised. I’ve decided, why not I give myself a break and have a date with myself?

So yesterday includes walking into the bugis Ramen restaurant to order a bowl of tonkotsu ramen for myself. A shop I’ve been wanting to enter for so many years but has sadly been brushed aside by friends, every time. I decided not to let myself down anymore. I’m going to eat my favourite ramen, all by myself.

It seems that heaven is rewarding me for my breakthrough by giving me an extraordinary delectable ramen. I know I have made the right decision. I am proud of it – eat in a restaurant all by myself. Of course, credits to the heroes of I Live Alone, cast and guests alike. You taught me eating alone is not so bashful after all.

After meal and with high spirits I turned round the corner and entered Bugis Street, a street from ages ago that was long forgotten by my fellow friends, who prefer shopping centres and departmental stores now. I zigzag through the alleys, happily roaming, and eventually bought a shirt. For the moment, I feel empowered of my own life, not restrained by anybody’s thinking or opinion. I’m free to do what I want, what I like. 

2019 shall be a year of listening to my heart, and being carefree without any external hindrance.